The Other Side of You
by king-veil
Summary: Damon squeezed Elena tighter, for he knew all of this would be over soon. Once Elena knew she wouldn't be able to handle it. She would be annoyed with herself for being happy while Bonnie was dead. He had to fix this. He had to bring Bonnie back to life or he would lose it all.
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys! I'm excited to do this story. This is first Bamon story that I'm doing from Damon's perspective. Most stories I think of for Bamon, I usually do it from Bonnie's perspective because I find it much easier to write with her. Damon's a little bit more trickier but I've actually been having a fun time writing from his perspective. I hope you guys enjoy!

I also want to give a warning before I start. Be prepared for Damon to be obsessed with Elena for a while. When I write, I try to stay very true to the characters even if I don't like some of the choices they might make. I'm not the hugest fan of Elena but I don't bash her in my stories either. But I do have a lot of Bamon in this story. It will just take them some time to get there. So again, I hope you guys enjoy!

\- King

* * *

Damon kissed Elena. He loved to do it. Actually, sometimes, he thought he was quite addicted to it. He kissed her at night, in the morning, in the afternoon, at night again. And he repeated this all over the next day, and the day after that.

It was much easier now to do it. He did not have to worry about the guilt of hurting his brother anymore. Stefan left. Disappeared.

After everything happened with Silas, he just left. But he knew that his brother did not leave because of Silas. Just like Elena knew it too.

He left because he probably did not want to accept the fact that Elena chose him.

Every time they entangled themselves from each other, reality set in that Stefan was no longer there anymore.

Maybe that was another reason why he kissed Elena often, not just because he loved the way his lips pressed against hers, but when his lips were not on hers, when he was not drowning inside of Elena, he remembered his brother.

Elena pulled away from his lips, her eyes fluttering open before she quickly pressed her lips back again- long, hard, slow, and pulled back. A giggled escaped her lips as her eyes crinkled with a smile.

"Eh hmm."

Someone cleared their throat and Damon did not bother to look over. He knew it was the brat. He always interrupted their time together. Sometimes, he wished he could just snap his neck. But he knew that Elena would not be happy if he did so. But Jeremy Gilbert was the most insufferable hormonal teenage boy he'd ever met. And Damon had met his fair share of those in his long time on earth. He thought that once Jeremy dated the witch that maybe he would be less annoying, but it only seemed to amplify, especially after Bonnie suddenly left.

Damn. In moments when Jeremy cock blocked him and Elena, he actually missed the witch, and even that was surprising for him to think.

Shifting his head to look over Elena's shoulder as she sat on his lap, he glared at Jeremy.

"Shouldn't you be, I don't know, somewhere that's not here?"

Elena slapped his arm and quickly shot off his lap. The moment was over and now Damon had to watch her cuddle her little brother. What a dick.

"Sorry, Jer. We thought-"

"That I was gone, I know. But I'm leaving now to go to Tyler's"

Elena smiled sheepishly. Jeremy shook his head at them like he usually did when he saw them together and turned to leave, but Elena stopped him.

"Wait, Jer. Have you talked to Bonnie?"

Damon shifted uncomfortably. These were the thoughts that he wanted to avoid. Anything that did not deal with them being together, he did not want to hear.

"Let the kid go, Elena." Elena kicked him.

"I haven't talked to her not since I came back-"

"She probably didn't want to hear the sound of your voice anymore, Jeremy. I would have left too." He ignored the glare Elena gave him. Jeremy sighed and ignored him.

"It's weird. I mean she left the letter saying she was going to spend the summer with her mom but she could have spoken to me."

"So, you really don't remember Bonnie talking to you before she brought you back?" Elena asked.

Jeremy shook his head as he stared at the floor. He was constantly brooding about the way that Bonnie left. Damon rolled his eyes. It was taking away his time from Elena. And Damon already knew what Elena was thinking. Hell, he even knew what Jeremy was thinking himself, but knew that Jeremy did not want to say it. But Damon would. It was his job to do that. Be the bad guy that said the things that people were too afraid to say.

"I hate to say this Jeremy but maybe she left you because you cheated on her. I mean she never really forgave you for it, right? Maybe the witch realized she wanted something new-"

"Then why would she bring me back?" Jeremy growled out. Damon sighed. Such obvious questions, such obvious answers.

"Elena, Jeremy. She did it for Elena."

Elena glanced back and forth between the two of them and now Damon lived in regret. Elena hated when he and Jeremy argued but the kid annoyed him so bad that he couldn't help it. Jeremy was a nuisance and sometimes he found him more annoying than his own brother.

"You're such a dick, man." Jeremy said and then gave Elena his classic how-could-you-be-dating-this-guy stare that always made him want to punch the dumb look off Jeremy's face. The things he did for love. Jeremy turned around to leave and Elena stepped forward.

"Wait, Jer. Don't g-" The door slammed with force and Elena turned back to look at him. Her facial expression was not happy and all Damon wanted to do was kiss her frown away. He wanted to go back to making out with her again; that would hopefully have led to his bed where they would lay naked for the rest of the day, with each other. Worried about nothing. No Stefan. No Bonnie. No homicidal vampires trying to kill his girl every week. Just them two.

But judging from the way Elena's face was screwed. He knew that would not be the case.

"Damon, why do you always have to do that?" She asked.

"Do what? I was just being honest with the kid." Elena opened her mouth up to reply but then she closed it as she raised her hands in the air in frustration. No kiss. No nakedness. He should have snapped Jeremy's neck like he wanted to earlier.

He tried to grab Elena but she just walked past him heading upstairs. He was ready to zoom up the stairs after her and kiss her. That's all it took and then Elena would melt in his arms, and forget about Jeremy, and everyone else that was not him.

He was going to do that until he looked in the corner of his eye and saw something strange. He turned around and almost jumped out of his skin at the sight of her. When did she?

"Bonnie, what are you doing here?" He asked as he stared at her strangely. She stood at the corner of the room near the fire place. She wore a green jacket, black shirt, and jeans. She did not respond but her eyes were wide with a look akin to shock.

"Earth to Bonnie." He said slowly as he waved his hand mockingly. Her mouth opened and then shut and opened again. Her eyes were moist and Damon scrunched his nose as he tried to take in the situation. How did she get in here? Why did he not hear her?

"Bonni-"

"You can see me?" The words came from her lips but somehow Damon could not understand what she meant by that. Nothing made sense. Maybe Elena was messing with his mind but why would she do that? Was Katherine here?

"Of course, I can see you, witch. Why wouldn't I be able to see you?"

A gasp escaped from her and she clutched her chest. Damon watched as she breathed heavily stunned. But what surprised him the most was not Bonnie's presence but the tear that dropped from her right eye. Damon stepped back and he looked around in confusion.

"Woah. Woah. Witch, what are you crying for? And how did you get in here without me hearing you?" He asked accusingly. Bonnie stared at him momentarily before she started to laugh. It wasn't a chuckle or a giggle. It was a laugh that bounced off the wall of the room and hit at you. It was strange because her laugh seemed like a cry. The sound was so loud and Damon abstinently wondered why Elena had not run downstairs yet. She had been saying she missed Bonnie the whole summer.

"Damon," She started, pacing herself as she slowed down her laugh. When the last chuckle escaped, she looked at him but did not move from her spot. "Is this real?"

The frustration spiked through him at her words. This was weird and also equally annoying. He felt like he was in a twilight zone. He had never seen Bonnie cry like that before or laugh like that for that matter either. Granted, he wouldn't be the judge to know because he did not pay attention to the witch often at all but something seemed off. Something was wrong. Why is Elena not down here yet? Is her hearing not working?

"Ele-"

"Don't." Bonnie said loudly, her eyes wide as she looked in the direction of the stairs. "You can't call her. You can't tell her I'm here Damon."

"Bonnie, you're losing me here. What's with all the creepy hocus pocus suft you got going on? And where have you been? The brat has been going crazy over you." He said and then he looked at her.

No, he really looked at her. Damon didn't notice it before because it was Bonnie. She looked the same. Long hair, green eyes that captured you, a natural bitch resting face because she only smiled at those she liked, that did not include him. But there was something different. She looked different. Not natural. Her usually radiant brown skin that always shined in the sun, looked dimmer than usual. Her face was grave and though Damon was use to Bonnie looking at him with a glare, he was not used to this face. It was void of life. Of happiness. Of anger. Of annoyance.

"Damon, I have something to tell you." She whispered and then bit down on her lip. Fear coursed through him.

"Don't."

"I'm-"

"Don't. I don't wanna know."

"Damon, I'm-"

"Don't tell me, witch! I don't want to know." He whispered fiercely and in the back of his mind he was wondering why he whispered. Because he knew. Dread was coming full force. He knew. This would change everything.

"I'm dead."

"Dammit, Bonnie!" He stood there staring at her, for how long, he did not know. All he could do was see Bonnie staring at him with fresh tears rolling down her face. Her eyes were scared but her mouth was hard. He had never seen Bonnie like this before. Ever. He felt sad for her. How did she? Damon couldn't even think. Right, now he was talking to a ghost. A ghost Bonnie. A ghost that happened to be Elena's best friend. This could not be true.

Damon stalked over to her. This couldn't be true. This had to be a bad dream. One of the bad dreams he had often that made him feel bad for stealing Stefan's girl. Dreams like this that made him think he would wake up in the morning and Elena would be gone.

When Damon reached her, he paused. He stood a few inches from her and he couldn't feel her. The heat that usually emitted from a human's body was gone. Her presence. Everything that made the witch who she was, was not there. The beat of her heart, a thing that Damon noticed because Bonnie was one of the few people who was truly not scared of him. Her heart didn't beat crazily like Caroline's did or Elena's did, back when they were humans and he took pleasure in seeing them scared. Even then, Bonnie was always calm and assure in his presence. Her heart thumped and it sounded like a melody but she was not afraid of him. He realized that he couldn't play with the Bennett witch back then. She was no fun. She had no fear.

But all of that was gone. He stuck his hand out and tried to grab her arm but it went straight through. He felt nothing.

He stood back and pinched the bridge of his nose. How was he going to tell Elena? How was he going to tell everyone? How did the witch die?

Damon dropped his hand and looked at her. Bonnie's face held no anger, just the tiniest hint of sadness was in the iris of her eyes. But she stood tall in front of him without regret.

"Bonnie." He said sadly as he thought about the months that went by. No one knew she died. No one knew or mourned her death. How sad.

"You can't tell Elena, Jeremy, or anyone. No one, Damon." She said, her voice clear and determined. She tried to give him a smile but even Damon knew that she did not feel it. How could you smile when you were dead? How could you smile when no one knew that you died?

"How?"

"Promise me, Damon. You have to promise me that. You can't tell anyone." She said firmly. Damon stared at her and then pushed his fingers through his hair.

Bonnie didn't have to tell him that. Of course, he didn't want to tell anyone. Especially not Elena. If Elena knew that she had spent her summer having the time of her life rolling around in bed with him and did not know that Bonnie had been dead, she would not only blame him but herself. She would hate herself and be eaten up with guilt. Elena didn't know how to handle death. She would lose it if she knew the witch had died. The kisses, the sex, the love, the want. All of it would be gone and his summer full of Elena would be gone. His life with Elena would be gone. He did not want to tell her.

But Elena needed to know. And if she found out from someone else it would break her. She couldn't know. He had to fix this. He would fix this.

"Deal." He said after a beat. Bonnie did not smile but turned around to leave.

"Wait-"

"Damon." Shit.

Damon turned around and looked towards the stairs where Elena was coming down now. She looked at him strangely as she glanced around the room.

"Who were you talking to?" She asked.

Bonnie who had been walking away from him, stopped in her steps, and turned around eyes wide. She stared at him questionably.

"Just talking to Liz." He said as he quickly fished his phone out of his jean pocket and raised it in the air for Elena to see.

"About what?" Elena asked. She now stood in front of him with her arms crossed. She was still mad and slightly suspicious.

"You know, just the usual, vampire suft."

"Wait, is there something going-"

"Nothing to worry your little pretty head about. Just the standard vampire issues. Nothing me and my girl Liz can't handle."

Elena bit her lip and she stared in his eyes before letting her arm drop. She sighed and looked at the ground.

"Look Damon, you can't talk to Jeremy like that anymore."

Damon rolled his eyes inwardly. He hated talking about Jeremy. But now in this moment he actually kind of felt bad for the kid. He had no idea that his girlfriend was dead.

"Okay, Elena. I'll leave Little Gilbert alone."

Elena stared at him briefly and Damon sighed waiting for her to give in. He knew she would give in. She always did. She loved him. A small smile formed on Elena's face and Damon grinned. She wrapped her arms around his waist and Damon hugged her back too, squeezing her tight in his arms, he wanted to melt Elena into his skin.

He looked over Elena and could see Bonnie as she stared at them with a small smile. Her gaze met his and she waved before heading towards the door.

Damon squeezed Elena tighter, for he knew all of this would be over soon. Once Elena knew she wouldn't be able to handle it. She would be annoyed with herself for being happy while Bonnie was dead.

He had to fix this. He had to bring Bonnie back to life or he would lose it all.


	2. Chapter 2

"Tell me what happened?"

The shock of finding out that Bonnie was dead still did not settle in yet. He found that he could not have sex with Elena last night and that was a first for him. He could always lose himself inside of Elena. He would zone out of the world and have no worries. He didn't think about the vampires that always came to Mystic Falls or his brother who he oddly missed. Those things were out of sight and out of mind. All that matter was him and Elena and sometimes he wished that he could take Elena from here, to a world that just existed with them two. Then they could be happy.

"I died."

"I see that, Bonnie." He bit out. "But, how did you? We all thought you were with your mom this summer."

Bonnie stood on the other side of his room. She looked like Bonnie but different. She held her arms around herself and ever since she appeared in his room, she refused to tell him how she died. Her lips were firmly pressed together and it was annoying the life out of Damon.

"Well can you at least tell me how I see you?" He asked. It had been on his mind all night. Jeremy was the one who could usually see ghosts, but why did she appear in front of him? _To make my life hell._

"I don't know. When I died, I thought that Jeremy would be able to see me but he can't. It's weird." She said as she plopped down on the floor. Damon wanted to make a snide remark about her sitting down when she was a ghost but he decided against it. Too early.

"I know. He's been whiny about it all summer." Damon said as he rolled his eyes thinking about Jeremy. He glanced at Bonnie and could see a smile tugging at her frown.

Honestly, he didn't get the whole Bonnie and Jeremy thing. It was one of those weird relationships that he never tried to dwell on. Why anyone would want to date baby Gilbert? He did not know. Then again at one point he thought the same about the witch. Bonnie was… untouchable. It was like she had ten layers of concrete over her heart. She was icy and Damon didn't particularly like that. He loved a challenge like the next man but Bonnie was more than a challenge. She was an everlasting marathon.

"Okay, you can wipe the smile off your face." He mocked and her face pinched at his words. "Why did you appear in front of me then?"

Bonnie scuffed at his words. She brought her knees up to her chest as she leaned on her palms.

"I didn't. I just wanted to check up on Elena and make sure she was okay. You just happened to be there." She said with an eye roll. "It's strange though because you never seen me before. Granted…"

"Granted what?"

"Granted, you probably wouldn't have been able to see me anyway with your tongue constantly shoved down Elena's throat."

Damon's mouth twitched but he refused to laugh at Bonnie. He was supposed to be the funny one anyway. He hummed annoyingly on purpose as he thought about his next question.

"How are we going to save you?"

"Huh?" Damon raised an eyebrow.

"Come on, Bon-bon. We need to plan this whole save-the-witch thing out. I like you better as Bonnie the Teenage Witch not Bonnie the Teenage Ghost-"

"Or your scared that I'll ruin your summer of love."

Damon frowned at her words and then shrugged. He had always been a man of honesty.

"True. I always thought you were the smart one between you and the blondie."

Bonnie stared at him and he stared back. Sometimes he did go too far on purpose and this time was not one of them. Bonnie blinked before looking away.

"I saved Jeremy." She said. Damon knew that. Everyone knew that Bonnie saved Jeremy. There was no way that Jeremy could just pop out of the blue. How in the process of saving Jeremy and going to her mom-

"You died saving Jeremy." He said. Bonnie did not say anything and he took that as a yes.

Damon did not know how to feel. He wanted to be angry with her. How could she risk her life like that for Jeremy? But then he thought about how Elena reacted to Jeremy's death. How much it hurt her and he was honestly terrified to see Elena without her humanity. Without her humanity, she was something different. She wasn't Elena. Bonnie died giving her life up for Jeremy.

"Did you know? Did you know that you were going to die?" He didn't know why he felt so angry, but it was pouring out into his voice. He was glad that Jeremy was back despite how much of a cock blocker he was. He made Elena happy. Happy Elena equaled a happy him. Bonnie did a good thing. But the idea of her dying without anyone. It bothered him. It was sad.

"I don't regret it. I'm glad that all of my friends are happy and Jeremy is alive. That's all that matters."

"Yeah, it was a great plan, Bonnie. I'm glad that you brought Jeremy back but maybe you should have not gotten yourself killed in the process." He growled out. He needed a drink. All he could think about was how he would explain this to Elena. He could imagine the hurt in her eyes. Her trying to process the situation. A drink would be perfect right now.

"Screw you, Damon. I wanted Jeremy back. Elena was miserable."

"Well, imagine how miserable she is going to be when she finds out that her best friend died for her. How is she going to react then Bonnie?" Damon growled as he walked over to his dresser and grabbed his private bottle of scotch. He always kept one around. Liquor was a great thing and always managed to keep him calm. He needed to be calm. Pouring the brown liquor into the glass, he watched it and could imagine how many of these he would pour when Elena said that she would want to break up because of guilt.

Damon snatched the glass and downed it. The burn of the liquor warmed his throat and he could feel the heat ignite inside of him. Visions of him being in this huge house by himself angered him. He threw the glass across the room and Bonnie yelped. He was angry.

"Dammit, Bonnie." He muttered. He was scared. He wished that Stefan was here. Not because Stefan would know what to do but at least he would be able to tell someone.

"I already told you. Don't tell them. Let them be happy-"

"What about college, Bonnie? There getting ready to go in a couple of weeks. You think they won't notice their best friend is not there?"

"Tell them I'm traveling. Tell them that I went to the Grand Canyon-" Damon snorted.

"The Grand Canyon. The Grand Canyon! You're dead Bonnie! You're dead. How long can we lie about that?"

Damon would have jumped if he had not been used to vampires running up on him. Bonnie appeared in front of him and her face was filled with anger. It looked like she wanted to hit him, slap him, punch him, but as she raised her hand it faltered. She couldn't touch him. Pitiful. This whole situation was pitiful. He wasn't a witch. What would he be able to do to save Bonnie?

"Damon, can you at least not be an asshole for one second of your life?"

"When you stop pretending to be a martyr." He gasped as Bonnie flew through him. She felt so cold. So cold that his heart almost stopped. He turned around quickly and she stood a few feet away glaring at him.

"Fuck you, Damon. Fuck you." She said her mouth screwed, eyes glazed with tears. "Why you of all people?"

Damon watched her go and wonder to himself the same thing. Why did it have to be him? Why did he have to know?


	3. Chapter 3

It had been four days. Four days that he thought would pass by in happiness. But it was hard to be happy with Elena when all he could think about was her finding out. The witch ran off and she had still not come back yet. He realized that he went too far but he didn't think she would actually disappear.

The first day he had been happy. He lounged in his bathtub with Elena. They talked about mundane things and she tried to get him to open up about his past. He kissed her. She started to wonder where Stefan was at. He kissed her again. This lead into a night where he made love to Elena trying to make the rest of the world disappear.

The next day, he wondered where the witch as at. He laid next to Elena on the bed while she watched one of her boring Soap Operas. He thought about how annoying the situation was.

By the third day, he became worried. He wondered if the witch was okay and if she would ever come back. He thought about how sad it was that she was so young and died. He started to feel guilty about getting upset with her. Of course, he was happy that she saved Jeremy. He didn't particularly care for Jeremy often, but he made Elena happy. He needed Elena to be happy. But the part that kept nagging at the back of his mind was that Bonnie died for someone like Jeremy. Jeremy who complained about everything in his life and owned up to none of his problems. Damon was one to talk but at least he admitted to being an asshole. He took pride in what he was. Jeremy was such an annoying teen that he always blamed everything on Elena. A part of him felt like Bonnie died for no reason.

When day four came, he was livid. He had to save Bonnie before she disappeared and really passed on. He did not know how to save her but it was going to be ten times harder if the witch was not around. Maybe he shouldn't had said certain things to her but that didn't mean that she should run away.

He groaned as he went to the fridge to grab himself a blood bag. If it was Elena she would have come back by now. But Bonnie was extremely stubborn and this was one of the reasons he was not so fond of her. She made everything less fun.

Slamming the fridge close, he turned around and jumped.

"What the hell? Say something next time." He said as he took a step back. Bonnie was at the kitchen table. The frown that she always wore was etched on her face as she looked at him. He sighed inwardly. Thank god, she came back because he didn't know where to find her. Where did ghost go when they were mad? This was ridiculous.

"I'm glad to see you came back, Bonster. Got over yourself?" He asked as he walked over to the table. Bonnie closed her eyes momentarily giving a deep sigh before she opened them again.

"I hate you. I hate everything about you. But you're the only person that can see me."

Damon's nose wrinkled at her words. Well, that hurt. He'd always got the feeling that Bonnie did not like him. He didn't particularly care for her either but for some reason her words cut deep this time.

"Wow, who pissed in your frosted flakes?"

Bonnie didn't respond. She just stared down at the table. He was honestly surprised that she was here right now in front of him. He thought that she would never come back. But then again, if he was a ghost and the only person he could talk to was the witch, he would probably do it too. Damon groaned to himself. He was being a jackass again and it wasn't his plan to but he couldn't help it. The witch rubbed him the wrong way. She sneered at him often as though he was lesser than dirt. She did not respect him and barely looked him in the eye.

Bonnie did not care for Damon and most of the times he had no problem with that. Most people did not care for him. All he needed in life was himself, Elena, and sometimes the sound of his little brother's annoying voice.

Originally, he planned to apologize to Bonnie because that would be the right thing to do. It would be what Elena asked him to do. When he made Bonnie come back to life again he didn't want her to run off to Elena and tell her what a dick he had been to her dead best friend.

"Look Bonnie, I'm-"

"Don't even bother. I can see the wheels spinning in that head of yours. There's no need to give me an apology that you don't mean. I'm dead, Damon. But I died protecting my friends and they're happy now. I don't need your pity."

"Okay," He said after a beat and shrugged. Well, you couldn't say that he did not try. If the witch didn't want his apology, he wasn't going to force it down her throat either.

He started to drink from his blood bag. The taste was… okay. It wasn't a bad taste. It was way better than the crap that his brother drunk but sometimes he really wished he could drink blood directly from the vein. It tasted so much better. The blood was fresh and the taste of fear mixed with shock made it so delicious. The fragrance heightened his senses and he was loss in the sweet bitter taste of blood.

His gaze flickered over to Bonnie and he looked at her neck. He remembered that night. He was so angry. All he wanted was Katherine and everything was getting in the way of that. Including Bonnie. He wanted to hurt Emily and the next best thing was Bonnie. He sunk his teeth into her neck and she tasted delightful. Her blood was fresh and she was angry.

The thought that Bonnie had no blood coursing through her at this moment was weird. It was odd to think that she was not alive anymore.

"So why did you come back?" He asked finishing his blood bag with one last suck. Bonnie watched him with eyes of disgust as she shook her head.

"I- It's weird talking to other ghosts. I'm trying to get used to it. At least when I talk to you I still feel…" Her voice trailed off but Damon already knew what she wanted to say. Human. If he was a ghost and his worst enemy was still alive he would probably talk to them too.

"Have you seen your Grams?"

"Yeah. She's not particularly happy with me. She avoids me a lot too. I think she hasn't accepted that I died yet."

"Have you?" Her green eyes blinked as her fingers hovered over the table.

"Yes," She whispered.

"Then why are you here?"

"I wanted to make sure my friends are happy. Wouldn't you want to make sure your brother was okay?"

He thought about it before he quickly pushed the thought away. It would lead to him thinking about Stefan being here with Elena. He didn't know if he was that selfless that he would be okay with the idea of Elena being with Stefan after he died. Of course, he wanted her to be happy but he wanted her to be happy with him. Not with his little brother.

"Do you want my help?" Damon asked as he looked directly into Bonnie's green eyes. Bonnie stared at him for a moment before she sighed. He knew her answer anyway. No one could be that accepting of their death even if they did it for the people that they loved.

"Yes" She admitted softly. "But as long as it does not hurt others in the process. I don't need anyone getting hurt because of this. Also, you can't-"

"I know, I know. I can't tell your besties. Trust me, I don't want to go down that road with them either."

Bonnie hesitated before she spoke again. "Elena won't be mad at you. It wasn't your fault."

"And that's where your wrong witch. Human emotions don't work that way and imagine them amplified when you turn into a vampire. She's- She's going to be so guilty when she finds out."

"She'll get past it. It will hurt at first but she'll move on. You and Jeremy just have to be there for her."

"And the kid- He's going to be even more moody when he finds out that you sacrificed yourself for him. He's already too much just being Jeremy."

"At least he's not like some other moody people I know."

Damon's head snapped in her direction with an annoyed expression. She couldn't have been referring to him. Bonnie shrugged.

"You can be pretty moody yourself, Damon. Elena leaves out for a second and you start grumbling around-"

"-So, you were watching me-"

"-Being all mopey. At least Jeremy has an excuse since he hasn't seen me in months. What's yours?"

Damon stared at her as her green eyes twinkled with a smile. He couldn't stand the witch especially in this moment.

"Whatever," He said and a smile appeared on her face. Maybe she was a little right. He just felt off without Elena being around. It annoyed him when she was gone for long periods of time. He especially hated the thought of her being around his brother. Stefan had a way of getting to people and he could never forget that Elena chose Stefan first- and the second time around too. Damon knew that she loved him now but people's feelings could change. He loved Katherine for over a hundred years, but now he wanted to kill her himself on sight.

"So, are we going to do this or what?" He finally asked. He had better things to do that did not involve talking to the witch.

Bonnie looked at him suspiciously. "No hurting anyone."

"I wouldn't hurt a fly." He grinned with a wink. Bonnie looked at him with contempt.

"Seriously, Damon. I know how you feel about Elena and that you would do anything to make her happy but if this doesn't work out then we'll leave it as is."

"So, you can bother me for the rest of eternity? That sounds like hell."

Bonnie gave him a stern gaze and he sighed dramatically.

"Okay, Bon-bon." He lied and she still gave him a suspicious gaze before disappearing.

He stared at the empty chair that Elena had pulled out this morning but never pushed it back in. He decided not to touch it just in case Bonnie decided to come back and hang out.

Sighing, he went to grab another blood bag. The witch would understand, then again, her opinion didn't matter that much to him anyway. If someone needed to get hurt in the process of bringing her back, he would. He would not see Elena without her humanity again.


	4. Chapter 4

"Someone took their time getting here." Bonnie said with a smirk as she stood at her front door.

Damon rolled his eyes. He had driven from the Boarding House to Bonnie's house. One minute she was in the car seating in the passenger seat and the next she was gone. He wasn't surprised to see her here first. How impatient the witch could be. He couldn't imagine what she would be like during sex.

"Yeah, yeah. Everyone can't magically appear where they want." He said and Bonnie grinned. That was something to get used to. Bonnie even remotely smiling at him was kind of weird. No, it was really weird. He raised an eyebrow and her grin disappeared and she turned raising her nose. He chuckled.

"So how am I getting in here, genius? I need someone to let me in." He grumbled. He looked around hoping that no one would see him standing outside on Rudy Hopkin's place. He knew it would probably look strange.

"Your dad isn't here, right? I don't think he would be happy with a grown man coming to take a look in his teenage daughter's room."

"Never stopped you before."

"Touché" He said as his lips trembled with laughter. She was feisty and funny. How come he didn't know this? "But how am I getting in witch?"

Bonnie walked over to the swing bench on their porch and pointed to the leg at the bottom.

"There's a key down there. Open the door and we'll see if I can let you in."

Damon went to grab the key and Bonnie disappeared. This was not a good plan. How would a ghost be able to invite him in? The rules did not work that way. He found the key and headed to the door. Opening the door, Bonnie stood there with anxiousness was on her face.

"I invite you in." Bonnie said nervously as she looked at him. Damon shook his head. This would not work- Wait, it did.

Damon walked inside and stared at Bonnie who moved out the way. The smile was apparent on her face and Damon almost wanted to pat her on the back to see the reaction she would have. Would she frown and push him away, adding an insulting one liner to top it off, or would she actually smile back at him? It was something he did not have to wonder for long when he thought about the fact that he would not be able to touch her.

"Okay, good job Bennett witch. Now where is your room?"

Bonnie headed up the stairs as he closed the door behind himself. He hoped no one saw him because he did not want to explain to Liz how he got inside Rudy Hopkins's place while he was not there.

Going up the stairs, Damon took a look at the pictures on the wall. Many of them were of Bonnie in important moments in her life like graduation and prom. The one that he took notice of was a smaller picture compared to the others. She had to be around 9 years old and she stood next to her dad smiling so hard that it seemed to light her dad up as he looked at her. She held a small trophy in her arm and Damon wondered what it was for. She looked happy.

"Are you coming?" She asked.

Damon looked away from the picture and headed upstairs. He went by two rooms before he finally made it to what he would assume was hers from the oddly out of place green door. He opened the door and was surprised. He did not know what he expected when he went in Bonnie's room but not this. Her room was perfect, like it had not been touched. Everything was organized and in place. But when Damon's eyes looked at the bed he could see a crinkle on top of the comforter near the dresser. He could imagine the times that Rudy must have came up here to look at the picture of his daughter next to her night stand. It was of her on her graduation day in her red cap and gown. Damon had to admit that Bonnie was beautiful. She was smiling hard from ear to ear.

That smile was not on her face now as she looked at the picture too. She walked over and sat on the bed where her father must have sat. She tried to touch the picture and frowned when her hand went through it. Damon looked away.

"So where are your books at, Bon-bon?" He asked trying to distract Bonnie. He did not want to see Bonnie crying in this lifetime. He found that he liked her better when she frowned at him instead. Bonnie looked away from the picture and sighed. She gave a small smile and Damon took that as her appreciating the distraction.

"Over there in the corner next to the TV." He nodded and walked towards the TV. It was a bin there and he opened the top but it was regular textbooks.

"Go down further." He had to move six regular school text books before he finally saw an old book that was leather bound. "I didn't want my dad to know that I was a witch. He wouldn't have been able to handle it."

Damon nodded at her words and grabbed the four grimoires there. He walked over to the bed and dropped them there, sitting down himself. Taking his jacket off, he glanced up when he saw Bonnie looking at him.

"What?" He scuffed. He knew that he looked good but Bonnie was never the girl to acknowledge his looks. But that was her loss and not his.

"You're getting comfortable." Damon rolled his eyes.

"I'm not a witch, Bonnie. And I think it's going to take some time to go through these grimoires." Bonnie raised an eyebrow and Damon could feel annoyance prickling through him. The witch was quite annoying and now he could see why she was with Jeremy. It all made sense to him now. Bonnie was as equally annoying as Jeremy. Maybe he should ask if she wanted to date Stefan? Stefan was annoying too.

"Well, be careful. I don't want my father to think anything is weird. He was pretty upset when I told him I was spending the summer with my mother."

"Yeah, how did he take that conversation? I know he wasn't too happy about that." He asked as he grabbed the grimoire and began to go through the pages. Now he wished that he actually paid attention those times when Bree told him about spells. But that was pretty hard when he had more fun fucking Bree than actually hearing her talk. Bonnie hesitated watching Damon as he flipped through the pages before she spoke.

"He was upset at first. And then I think he was hurt. Me and mom don't have much of a relationship. She left when I was little and I never saw her after that. He wasn't happy when I told him that I saw my mom again either. I think he thought that I would be angry with her."

"Are you? I mean I would be."

"No," She said softly. "At first I was. It hurt to see that she left me and went to build a life of her own. She was taking care of Jamie and I couldn't help but think why didn't she do that for me."

Damon listened to her and his hand stopped flipping through the pages. He knew that feeling of not being wanted. Of being treated secondary. His father always cared for Stefan more and treated him like shit. At first a part of him was pleased that Stefan killed his father. He could only imagine the look on his face as Stefan attacked him. He wondered if he was proud of Stefan in that moment. But he tried to let the pain go.

"I got over it. It still hurts but I'm not mad at her anymore. She made her choices for a reason. Sometimes I wish I could have a closer relationship with her but I don't it's really possible."

Damon felt uncomfortable now as he thought about how he killed Abby. He did it for Elena and at the time he did not feel much guilt about it. Abby didn't matter to him and her life was not important as Elena's. Besides, she had never been a parent to Bonnie. But now as he looked at Bonnie's green eyes that held a various array of emotions, he felt bad for hurting her. Damon cleared his voice and Bonnie looked at him strangely.

"I'm not mad at my dad anymore. Or more so I don't feel anything for him anymore. Back when he was alive, I hated him. He only seemed to care about my brother and everything I did was wrong. Even after his death, for a long time I held my anger for him. But eventually I let it go. He just wasn't a good father." Damon said and shrugged. Though he didn't really feel like he could shrug anymore after he said it. Some days were much easier than others though. Bonnie didn't say anything and looked down at the book.

He was uncomfortable now and the silence was getting to him, but he decided to keep flipping through the pages even though he did not know what exactly he was looking for. How did witches arrange their spell books? Right now, it looked like a bunch of nonsense to him. Some things were written in different languages and had weird imagery. He just needed to flip to a page that said 'How to make a ghost living again' and then he would be out of this mess and back into Elena's arms again.

As he continued to flip, he ignored the faces that Bonnie was making. Well, he tried to ignore the faces that she was making but it was hard. He could see her frowning at him. He paused in his movements.

"Will you like to help, witch?"

"Nope."

"Okay."

"But I think maybe you should try the other book. That's my German text book." Damon slammed the book shut and tossed it across the room. He heard a loud crack but did not bother to look back.

"Damon!"

"Were you going to say anything? We don't have time for this, Bonnie. And why the hell does a school text book look like that?" Bonnie shrugged and he could feel himself becoming more annoyed.

"You don't have to throw my things, Damon. Choose this one. That's my Grams book." She said as she pointed to brown one hidden beneath three other books. Damon snatched it aggressively and opened the book. He skimmed through the pages and tried to ignore Bonnie but she was… there. It was weird. He never hung out with Bonnie before like he did with the rest of the rat pack. But then again, he never had a reason too. Bonnie was there on the bed and as he flipped the pages she was suddenly hovering over his shoulder. She sat on her knees behind him.

It was annoying. He continued to flip.

"I think I remember it saying something about ghost towards the back." Damon flipped to the back.

"Not that far back." He flipped a few pages forward.

"Not that far forward." He would snap her neck but there would be no point. She was already dead. He needed to figure out how he was the one to see Bonnie. It made no sense. This should be Jeremy right now and not him.

Damon thought the he was the one that was frustrated but clearly that wasn't the case as Bonnie tugged her hair with a frown. She sighed exasperated and then tried to grab the book herself but it was futile. She cursed and tried to grab it again. Damon was going to make a comment about how stupid it was for her to grab things when she was Bonnie the ghost now, but when he glanced back at her, he saw the frustration on her face. She tried to grab it again, again, again, and again.

Wiping her face, she tried one more time and then she blew out a breath in anger. Bonnie balled her hand into a fist and slammed it against the bed but it only went through. Her head dropped and Damon shifted. It was odd seeing her like this. But Damon could not blame her. It sucks when you can't do anything to help yourself. He had been in many situations like that before and it almost drove him to the point of insanity. He could only imagine how Bonnie felt right now. Not being able to touch anything. Not being able to feel.

Bonnie's fist un-balled. Her hands were splayed at her feet.

"I can't touch anything. This is killing me. I can't feel!" He did not say anything. Deciding that maybe it was best for Bonnie to deal with this on her own. He didn't know how to comfort the witch.

"I tried to touch Jeremy yesterday. He looked so sad when he was looking at our picture but I couldn't touch him. Do you know what it's like not to be able to feel?" She asked as she looked up at him. Her eyes were glistening with sadness. Damon wanted to take her anger away but he did not know what to do. He wanted to touch her. To pat her back or hold her hand or even give her a hug. But he could not do any of those things for her.

"I regret it." Damon's blue eyes looked inside her green eyes that stared inside of him. She looked at him unguarded, her eyes telling all. "Most days I don't. Most days I'm happy when I see my friends happy. I'm happy that Jeremy is happy and I'm happy that Elena has both of you. And I'm happy that Caroline has her mom but when I can't feel. When I can't touch anything. It makes it real. I'm dead, Damon. I'm dead."

Moments passed and the quiet took over them. Damon listened as Bonnie's breathes turned shallow. Damon thought that he could not feel her presence before but he could feel it now. Bonnie was a ghost but she was a ghost with anger.

And he could not blame her for that. He knew that Bonnie regretted it. She told him constantly that she was okay because her friends were happy but Damon knew people. He knew what the heart was really like and deep down most people were selfish. It's just how humans are and people don't like to acknowledge it. Bonnie regretted it and he did too. The happiness he felt when he saw Jeremy again was not for Jeremy himself but for Elena. Elena was whole again and he did not have to worry about her turning her humanity off.

Elena was living her life happy with him and her little brother. Caroline had her mom and the hybrid. But what did Bonnie have? Nothing. Her dad had no idea that his little girl died and her mom didn't either. It was pitiful. No one knew Bonnie Bennett died. And he never asked but he couldn't help wonder how long she planned on keeping up the ruse? Did she think no one would notice? Did she think her life was not that important compared to someone like Jeremy?

Then again, he remembered vividly telling Elena that he would sacrifice the witch for Elena's any day. Why did he think that Elena's life mattered more? Because Bonnie wasn't important to him?

He shook his thoughts away and looked at her dresser, eyes locking on her graduation photo.

"What was the trophy for?"

"Huh?" Bonnie asked confused as she glanced over at the dresser.

"Downstairs on the wall. I saw a picture of you with a trophy. What was it for?" Bonnie smiled.

"I use to play soccer and I scored the winning goal for the tournament." She said with a laugh. Damon raised an eyebrow.

"You played soccer?" He asked surprised and that only made Bonnie laugh more.

"I wasn't good at it. My dad wanted me to be a part of sports more and he thought me hanging out with Caroline made me too soft. I just happened to score my first and only goal ever." She burst out into fits of laughter and Damon smiled. Weird. "My dad was so proud. I never played a game again after that. I was never good at sports."

Damon nodded and tried to imagine Bonnie as a little girl playing soccer. It was interesting because even though he saw the picture, he couldn't actually imagine her doing it. But he was glad that he asked though. Bonnie was no longer frowning and her eyes were lit up with happiness. He saw that as a win.

He opened the book again.

"Let's see if we can find some of these spells on ghost."

An hour passed by and now Bonnie laid on top of the bed. He really wanted to ask her if that was uncomfortable because technically she was floating on the bed, but he decided that maybe it was too soon to be throwing out jokes. Damon was next to her perched against the head board. All of the words started to look alike 30 minutes ago, and he would rather be at the grill grabbing a drink right now.

He flipped the next page and he was almost about to turn again until he saw something. Corporeal.

He sat up as he yawned and Bonnie's eyes opened.

"What is it?" She asked sitting up.

"Corporeal. That's to be tangible, right?" He asked as he skimmed down the page. Bonnie nodded slowly as she leaned over closer. Her eyes skimmed the book before she smiled.

"I think this might help me to be able to touch, Damon." She said with a smile. She bounced up and Damon laughed. It was good to see the witch happy. He liked happy witch more than frown face witch.

"Well, calm down there. We need a witch to be able to do this and I don't know if you have noticed," He bared his teeth for her and her nose wrinkled. "I'm vampire, not a witch."

Bonnie's eyes looked down and she seemed to mull over her thoughts.

"I wish I knew one but the last one I did know. I killed her." Bonnie gaze snapped to him in disgust and question. He shrugged. "She tried to kill me. I had no choice. It was self-defense."

Bonnie rolled her eyes.

"Let's try it anyway."

"Bonni-"

"Please, Damon. Let's just try."

Damon rolled his eyes and nodded.

Xxx

After the fifth attempt, Damon wished he never said yes. This was stupid. He knew this and Bonnie knew this too. But the hope was there in her green eyes and so Damon continued to do so even though he felt like this was a waste of his time.

"Try to say it again." She urged. So, he did. Nothing.

"Bonnie, I'm not a witch. I don't have that magic crap in me."

"Maybe I can try it." Bonnie apparently was losing her mind to in the afterlife.

"You're a witch but you're a dead one."

"I know that but at least I can try." Damon rolled his eyes and then Bonnie began to chant the words. She finished and tried to touch Damon but nothing. She cried out in frustration. Damon sighed. This was getting old.

"You're dead, Bonnie." Bonnie's eyes snapped towards him coldly.

"I don't need a reminder. Clearly I am." She said as she hit her arm through him. Damon hated when she did that. It felt weird.

"Stop doing that!" He growled out but she did it again and again and did not stop. If she was not a ghost he would have snapped her neck by now.

"I hate you Damon Salvatore." She said and drew her hand back to hit him again. Ouch.

"What the hell?"

Bonnie's eyes went wide. She looked at her hand and flexed it open and close. She watched her hand as she reached to touch the book that laid on the table. Damon was shocked to see her finger a page and flick. She did it again and again and again. An ecstatic scream came out of Bonnie as she closed the book. She could touch things again. Damon grinned though he was confused as to how she was able to do it.

"How?" He asked.

"I thought of the spell in my head but- but I'm dead so how was I able to." She looked away from the book and then at Damon. The smile on Bonnie's face lit up the whole room and his green eyes resembled a forest in the spring.

He was surprised when Bonnie ran towards him and jumped on him giving him a hug. Her legs were wrapped around his waist tightly and he could feel her fingers digging through his shirt. Damon was stunned and patted her back lightly. It was weird touching Bonnie like this because they never did it before. But for some reason her happiness was rubbing off on him and he found himself hugging her back. He squeezed her tightly, resting his chin on her neck.

It felt good to feel Bonnie. She felt real. The only thing that was missing was a heartbeat. He needed to make her come back to life again. Bonnie dropped down but she did not fully step away from him. Her hands slid down his arms and back up again across his chest. Damon did not know why he let her do it. He thought to himself that maybe it was because Bonnie was doing it harmlessly. Bonnie hadn't touched someone in months and she needed to feel again. The coldness of her hands sent chills throughout his body but she continued to rub them up his neck as she giggled.

"I can feel, Damon." She whispered as her hands went up to cup the side of his face. It was… odd. The feeling he felt, he did not want to distinguish it. But it felt good. Bonnie was looking at him with such happiness and it made him smile too. Her smiles were a gift that he was never given before. She only gave it to her friends and the people closest to her. It made him feel good to know that maybe, just maybe, in this moment, he became Bonnie's friend.

Bonnie pulled her hand back slowly and giggled nervously but she did not move away. Damon could actually feel her presence there now.

"Thank you, Damon."

"Hey, it was you-"

"I wouldn't have been able to do it without your help." She hugged him again, her head resting on his chest, and squeezed him. "I can feel because of you."

Damon hugged her back and they remained there holding each other for a few moments longer. The feeling of being appreciated warmed his skin. A few months ago, he could have never imagined the witch telling him thank you, let alone smiling at him. But now he got both. Now more than ever he wanted Bonnie to be alive again so he could see her smile and thank him again.


End file.
